Mid Week .... Is Friday here yet

Today has just been an exhausting day. As mom I had to rearrange everything because Donovan had Tball practice. Our original place to practice was cancelled and we found a place to practice today. Practice was great. The kids did a great job of practicing. The kids learned som great skills. The kids were baseball ready and alligator. I was proud of Donovan. My husband says we need to get him off my hip. I guess I do baby him, but he is my baby. I guess I will work on that. Work is another story. I always feel like I am walking into the war zone. I never know what is going on. I have been keeping to myself and finding ways to avoid being around anyone. I am not sure what to do about the transfer. I so want to teach READ 180, but not sure I will have the opportunity. I am so scared about the change that could happen that I am not sure how to handle this. I pray that everything will go the way it is suppose to. I will just have to wait and see what is in store. I was talking to a friend today, and realize that I am lucky. My marriage is going great and I can't complain. I have great friends who are my friends. My family is awesome. What in the world could I have to complain about. Also my true friends are friends no matter what. I have lost a friend and not sure if I am sad or happy. However, it was time to cut the ties. I will be glad to have the week over.

Manic Monday

Today was back to the grind. I had no desire to go back to work. My mind keeps replaying that I am a great teacher inside my room, but outside is a different thing. I don't think I will ever forget those words for as long as a I live. Almost like when a former DI told me I was not leadership material.

I did run into an ex friend. I am calling her ex because she made it clear. I realize that people that I thought were my friends are not. My mom was so right when she said your only friends is your family. Everyone else is an acquaintance. I use to think that was a horrible thing to say, but now I don't feel that way. This ex gave me a go to hell look. So I think I understood that.

I finally got Donovan's schedule for Tball. I am not sure how I am going to keep up my energy to coach, work, and still cook dinner and all. Calgon take me away. LOL. I hope these little ones will be able to handle the busy schedule.

Dinner was simple tonight. Spaghetti. Donovan enjoyed it. I love my Bubba to death. I so wish I could just be a stay at home mom. I miss these little moments where we can cuddle and he tells me he loves me. I know that he has to grow up but I am just not ready for him to grow up. Stephanie grew up way to fast for me. Besides Donovan still needs me. Stephanie is a college student who is still thinking about it.

I made the Rosemary-Olive Oil Chiffon Cake. Yummy!! That is all I can say. It was absolutely wonderful. I am so glad I made it. My husband is too chicken to eat it. Well I guess more for me.


Quote for the day:

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back. -Arthur Rubinstein

Opening Day

Today has just been a wonderful day. This morning I went to my WW weigh in. What a great surprise to know I lost 3.2 pounds. I really didn't think that it would be that much. I lost another 5 pounds. That makes a total of 15.8. I am now under 150. I can't remember the last time I was under 150. WW does work.

Opening Day for CyFair Sports Association. Spring baseball is in season. My little team looked so cute in their uniforms. We are the White Sox's. It was a long day for everyone, but it was a great day for the kids. Donovan had a great time. He was so worn out that he took a cat nap on the way home. It was an overall great Opening Day.

I am very glad the way my day went. I had an awesome time at the grocery store. I actually saved 36.13. My bill was under 90.00 for the week. I am so happy with that. I love saving money. I love using my coupons and finding deals.

Life is good. My quote for the day is....... The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.
William James

Sadness

I made myself go to work today. I had no spark in my eye and it was depressing. Yesterday's words are still stuck in my head. Still needing God's help. My students were unsure how to take me today. I was very solemn. My sweet chatty little 6th graders each came up to me and said they were wondering if I was ok. I told them yes. They said they were a little worried. They thought maybe someone died in my family. I love my students. Thank you Lord for bringing them into my life. It sucks to know that a supervisior thinks so unhighly of you. It makes me wonder if teaching is my calling. Oh well another day done of unhappiness. Sleep something that makes me happy.

As for wife and mom, that is going great. Of course it is effecting me smiling, but I love being at home with my family. I actually left work at 3:30. That is a first. I don't usually leave this early, but I did. I was able to get a roast in the oven, and relax. It was just nice. I think I need to readjust my priority. I think work is work and my family is my life.

Tomorrow is the big day. I will be coaching Donovan's T ball team. I am a little worried having to explain to the 4 year olds what we are doing. I know I will figure it out and I will have parents to help me out with that.

Quote for the day: When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot in it and hang on.
Thomas Jefferson

What a day and I hate it!!

Today has been one of the worst days in my life. I hate being a teacher at times because it really isn't about the kids. It is all politics and who you know. I think that really stinks. However, today I asked for a meeting with my principal so I could rethink if I wanted to put in for a transfer or not. After that meeting I felt less than a person and my only good quality is I am a great teacher. That is great to know, but I don't need adult kudos when all I care about are the kids. Long and short of it all is that I am a wonderful teacher inside my room but outside the four walls is a different story. Ummm........let me think on that one. You are a great teacher, but as a person you are horrible. Let me step on you more. I am not sure how to take that. Also that I am the most negative person about things. Now that one really floors me, because I have done nothing but been positive and tried to make things work.

So after this meeting, I am pretty much crying like there is no tomorrow and the only person I want to talk to are my parents. Who I unfortunately can't get a hold of. Maybe that is a sign. However, I did get to talk to a friend. Explained what was said to me and she was in shock. I invest so much time in my kids that I feel like I have given up a lot of family time. I realize today I am just a body for a job and that I am not to have friends in the work force. I feel as if I get the poop end of the deal every year due to others.

The worst part of all of this is that a friend was told she could not be trusted because of me and her talking to me. However something she told me I did not tell anyone. She doesn't believe. I told her I felt like my meeting was a set up because of what was being focused on and that was not what I went in there to talk to her about. How is that possible, but she doesn't believe me and it is sad.

My eyes hurt from all the crying and feel like not even going to work. I have never been known to hide, but that is always possible. I want to but will go to work and let things be said. It doesn't matter if I stay away from folks, they are always talking.

My world as a mother is one of my only joys besides my marriage. So how to turn a horrible day into a productive week for myself. My son is funny and he keeps me on my toes. I love Donovan with all my heart and couldn't have asked for a better gift from God. Now is the time I need a scripture to help me through this time. I found one scripture for tonight:

Philippians 4:13 NIV
I can do everything through him who gives me strength. I need to remember that God is going to give me the strength to hold my head up.


I pray God gives me the answer that I need before Friday. I am not sure if I can deal with anymore drama.