After Thanksgiving Thoughts

Well,it has been a while since I blogged. What can I say? Actually nothing about it. I just have been lazy. I know what a horrible excuse but true.

Since my last blog my sweet Donovan had umbilical hernia surgery. I felt so bad for him. He did well up until after the surgery. After surgery he was very loopy from the anesthesia. He told me he missed me. Donovan did freak when he saw that he went in with no bandages, but came out with two. He tried to pull them off. Thankfully we were able to calm him down. When we came home he was in so much pain. I am so glad we were able to get some pain medicine down him when we were at the hospital. He was trying to walk to think it would ease the pain. No such luck. We did realize that Donovan was afraid to go to sleep. He did that at the hospital and came out with bandages. My poor little man. I definitely was a rough 5 days for him. We did overcome it all with many prayers from friends.I am so lucky that Scott was able to take vacation at that time so we could stay with Donovan.

Donovan had his team party. It was great. Everything went wonderfully. I am glad he was able to go and see his friends. He just couldn't overdo it. He had a great time.

WE did take Donovan to see SantasWonderland. It was so much fun. Donovan enjoyed the hayride to see the lights. He got to do s'mores over a campfire which was a lot of fun. We also rode a pony and fed the goats. It was the best time ever. This so wore Donovan out that he slept till 10 the next day.

All is well here now. Donovan has returned to school. He loves telling the kids they can't be rough with him. I love my Bubba.

Now as for Thanksgiving. I so need to diet. I see my stomach getting bigger. I did workout to Biggest Loser tonight. I think I will do it in the morning. I will try my best to lose some weight before we go to Brenham on Dec 24. That is my goal.

Photos of the weekend

I have a great few photos of my weekend. One of me and my and Donovan before I headed out on Friday. Then on Saturday Donovan had a visit from his cousins. The last picture is of Donovan in his costume.

Drinking...The evils of it.

I have realized that there are people who can drink. Then there are those who really have no business drinking. I am so pissed right now. Where should I begin.

Today has been a good day up until Scott and Donovan broke the window. There were throwing the football in the house. Of course I have told them not to, but what I say doesn't matter. Well Donovan threw the ball and busted the window. So Scott starts to blame Donovan. To me they both were to blame. However, nope. Scott blames Donovan. To make matters worse he had been drinking since he got home this afternoon which was about 2 pm. He quit about 8 this evening. I am so done.

Now my next problem is that tonight I posted the cutest picture of Donovan. He was in his Robin Teen Titans costume. A friend of mine said cute. My husband writes he has responsibilities as lead off hitter and make believe is now over. What the hell is that all about? I wrote the only responsibility my son should have is playing. He is a idiot. Then he posted the ends justifies the means. Alcohol seems to bring out stupid. I am not sure what his problem is but I am really getting tired of the drinking he does and just does stupid stuff.

I am not sure what to do, but God there has to be an answer to this. I will figure it out. I am thinking of seriously thinking of dumping out all of his beer. However, I am not sure if I want to deal with the consequence.

Tuesday

I am finally writing in my blog. I am doing a lot better than what I usually do. I mean it takes more than about two or so weeks to write on here. Doing my best. I will have to take baby steps.

Last Wednesday I turned 41. I had a wonderful day. I brought cupcakes for my students that were well behaved that day. I also brought some for the Life Skills students that I have come to adore. They come by to see me everyday and make teaching for me wonderful. They made me birthday cards, which I will cherish forever. I cried when they sang me Happy Birthday. What sweet children. I am so blessed to know them.

My husband sent me flowers for my birthday. They were absolutely beautiful. I love them. As I sit here and blog I am staring at them. I will post a picture of them in a few. I hope I have them on here. To top the day off my beautiful daughter sent me roses too. They were beautiful too. An autumn bouquet of roses. God has blessed me with a wonderful family.

School is going fine. I am trying to stay to myself, but no such luck at times. People find me. I stay in my hole. I like it that way. I hate that I can't see some of my friends, but I guess there is facebook. LOL.

My friendship with Charlotte is no longer existent. I have decided that her type of friendship is not worth it. I cannot have her as a friend who only is a friend when she needs me. I understand that she is going through some stuff but treating me like your dog is not worth it. Besides I am tired of hearing how horrible she is treating everyone else. I think she is quitting in December and as far as I am concerned that is good for her. She needs something other than work. I don't know what has happened to her and think she has put herself where she is and she can stay there by herself.

Yesterday I made the cutest little pumpkin jars for Donovan's daycare class. I can't wait to give them to his class. I will post a picture. I saw a lady selling them for 6 dollars a piece. I made them with baby food jars, paint, raffia, spray acrylic, and time. I made them for less than 2 dollars. I love them. I have tons of ideas for baby food jars. I am so excited about what I can make.

Way to Long

It has been so long since I have blogged. I wish I could get in the habit to write everything instead of having so much to say over a long period of time in one posting. It looks like I will have to give the abbreviated version.

School is school. The kids are full of drama and I am really trying to just not allow it to effect the class. My first period class I dread due to drama with several students, but I can't help the school drama, but I can give them secure place to be when they are at school.

Stephanie came to visit on Friday. We had a good time. I wish my husband would not have been drinking as much as he did. He let me know that I didn't appreciate him. Whatever, I just know that this happens every year around my birthday. Last year Scott told me he wanted a divorce on my birthday. My birthday is next week and I feel the calm before the storm. I wish he weren't so darn bi polar.

My next issue is Scott's son wants to meet his brother Donovan. I am not happy about this. Donovan has no idea he has another brother or sister. The only family he knows of is Stephanie. She is the only one who would protect him. I am not sure how I feel. I just don't want those evil children near him. I hope God can tell me what to do.

I have been crafting and made the following sign last night. Well going to get off of this and try to post tomorrow. I hope everyone has a great evening.

Tuesday

Donovan and I do not have many more days of just us. I will be returning back to school. I love my job, it is the drama and politics involved with work. I am not sure why people think I really care about my room right now. I am not on contract till August 15, and that is when I will discuss my room. I mean I really do not have much of a say in anything. I do know that if the Admin is not worried about my room, then I am not going to worry about it. I mean if there is anything to worry about Admin will figure it out. I am sure they have some type of backup plan.

I actually worked on my chipboard letters for my room. I love the ABEL ones. They turned out great. I also got the best saying for my class. If I am ABEL to do it, then you are ABEL to do it too. Love it. Now my READING letters I am unsure if I will keep the scrap paper on it. They are skulls that would go with a pirate them. I might end up changing them.

I am so dreading Quantum Learning tomorrow. I just to get home to be with Donovan. We are suppose to go to the beach on Thursday. I can't wait for a fun day with my baby. I wish we could spend a few more days together, but I have to go back to work.

Dreading Monday

This weekend has been great. Thursday I went to Splashtown with Tricia, Scott, Donovan, and Nolan. We had a great time. I am so glad Scott was able to come with us. It was great to ride the waterslide with Donovan.

Friday was an ITZ day with Donovan, Nolan and Tricia. I am not a fan of ITZ. Donovan won enough tickets to get 8 ninjas. He has a great time. I am so glad. I love seeing my little man happy.

Saturday was another great day. Scott, Donovan, and I went to Anna's for housewarming party. Donovan had a great time swimming, but we had a little problem. Donovan was in the pool by the side. Well he decided to get a little brave and got too far away from the side. He could not swim. Scott had to jump in the pool after him. I felt so bad. He said he didn't want to swim anymore. I was a little scared. I talked to him and he gave me a hug. He said his heart hurt and I felt horrible.

Today was a laid back day. We were going to go to church but we had no water. I was not a happy camper. Donovan was looking so forward to going to church. He told me he wanted to sing to Jesus. Gosh I love that little boy.

Now tomorrow is the dreaded Hell day. I do not want to go back to work and sit for a workshop. I mean I need to figure out how to be elsewhere. I just realize that working at school is very political. You have to be young and cute to get anywhere up there. I guess it just took me a long time to see that. My feelings are just a roller coaster where work is concerned. I need to remember I have the power to change but do not have the power to change other people. I have a verse to help me through the day.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

I need to place this verse on my tile in the kitchen so I can see it everyday. I am going to need it just to make it through the school year. God give me the strength to make it through the year. Please hold my tongue Lord.

Oh well it is late and i need to get in bed. I am actually tired right now. That is first. My little boy is asleep.

BBR Training

This morning I was dead to the world. I had to teach a training today. I stayed up too late looking for my jump drive for my lesson. I think it was about 1 am when I hit the hay, and woke up at 5 am. I was dead. I did make it through the day, but oh my word I was very exhausted.

Training went great. I love doing training. It make me realize why I became a teacher. I love teaching.

Donovan and I have done nothing. I am so excited about the rest of the week after tomorrow. I am taking Donovan to Splashtown with my friend Tricia. I will post pictures. Then on Friday to the beach. I can't wait. It will be so much fun. I hope he doesn't have Tball practice that day or I am screwed. I hope that practice can be Saturday.

I am so exhausted so this will be short. I need to hit the hay.

The Weekend is Over

Well this weekend has really been great. Donovan had Tball practice on Friday. He did a great job. He is so cute batting. I love my little man.

Saturday, we really didn't do much. We took Donovan to see the Smurfs. It was a cute movie. I remember the Smurfs. I loved that show. Donovan really enjoyed it and Scott really liked it too. It was so nice to do a family thing. After the movie we went to the mall. It was a nice day.

Sunday was just a relaxing day. I did absolutely nothing. In fact Donovan and I didn't make it to church. We slept in which is really unusual. I started getting my backpacks together for Operation Backpack for a friend who is collecting items. I just need to go get some binders tomorrow and we will have a backpack put together. I was so excited I was able to get two backpacks for 9.99 at Walgreens.

Scott and I did take Donovan swimming. I am so worried about Donovan, he has anger management issues. I don't want him to be like some of the kids I teach. I know that is horrible, but we have to find a way to control his anger. I am not sure if it is just me or it is everyone. I stayed at the pool for a bit, then went home. I had a horrible headache. I think eating my first meal after 2 pm didn't help the matters much and the fact that it was so hot outside. Oh well lesson learned for sure. I did get to see Donovan doggie paddle. I am so proud of him. He was so proud of himself. Gosh I love that little boy.

Today Scott's sister Allison called him. Of course it is more family drama. I don't understand why his sisters always involve him. I am just tired of them. I am done, and I don't even want to write about it. Just ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Not much...Just a Friday

Today I have really done nothing. I finished another book. Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin. I really liked this book. I am slowly getting to my goal of 30 books.

I went to the Gradebook Access class today. I am so glad I did. It will make it easy for when I go back to school. I dread school. I dread being back with adults who either gossip or back stab. I mean I am not sure how tolerant I can be for next year.

Donovan had Tball practice tonight. I think Austin's mom is taking him off the team because he was getting in trouble the whole time. I think it is to much pressure for her. I feel bad for her because I feel if Austin's dad was there it would be different. Donovan is too cute when he plays t ball.

Just another boring Friday.

Lazy Hazy Day

Today has been a lazy day. I was just not into doing anything. I keep thinking of that stupid song by Bruno Mars....."Today I don't feel like doing anything..." I am dreading that my summer is coming to an end.

Dieting this summer has been a bummer. I have not really gained but a pound here and there. I can't complain. I wish I could of seen a little more weight come off. I think when I get back to work I will have a better routine. I just have not done enough exercising. I wish I had. I really want to lose another 15 pounds. I can't wait till I get to that mark. I know I can do it and I will.

Donovan is a funny little one today. He came up to me and grabbed my cheeks. He said isn't that cute and squeezed my cheeks. What a cutie. Too bad tonight he busted his lip. He was jumping and I told him to stop. Well he tripped and fell on the coffee table. It scared the tar out of me. I am just glad it was only his lip that bleed.

Well I finished another book. One I have wanted to read for a while. However, I really didn't read it. I listen to it on CD. I am needing to read more books for my students. I hope to do a competition with my students. I am just not sure how but will get it done. I read/listened The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Book 1 by Ann Brashears. Loved it.

Broke down and called a friend today. Found out there was a comman thread of who caused the problem. Why am I not surprised. I know that I will be on my toes and not trust anyone when it comes to certain situations. I will have to pray that God shows me a way to handle this. I am not sure I will be able to if something doesn't intervine.

Another day down, but at least today went by slow. Now if it could do that for the rest of teh week.

Celebration

Today was a great day. I had lunch with JJ. He is an ex student of mine. He will be a senior this year. However, he informed me that he has committed to the Air Force Academy. I am so proud of him. He will do great. My only concern is that he will have to give 5 years to the Air Force. I consider JJ as a son. I will continue to pray for him. I know God will watch over him.

Donovan and I had a wonderful day. The boys were playful with Donovan that they tired him out. When we got home he passed out in the recliner. Unfortunately he slept way to long. So I am afraid we will be up for a while. I am hoping we can move Donovan from my bed to his bed. I just going to fall asleep with him in the bed. When school starts up he will have to be in bed by 9 pm. I am not sure how that is going to workout. I hope well.

I will be crafting this week. I finished my BEST for my classroom. I painted them maroon. Now I will place the words for each letter on them tomorrow. I will also paint my ABEL letters brown tomorrow and then scrap paper them. I can't wait to see what it turns out like. I want to get more that says READ 180. They are on sale at Hobby Lobby. I will have to see if I can do that this week and do more crafting. I wish I had my clipboards. I would love to work on scraping them, but oh well.

I need to finish the two books I have started. I have a book on CD. I know that is cheating, but I just want to hear books. I finished Saving CeeCee Honeycutt. Great book. It was very funny. I am not listening to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I have tried to read that book, but always get sidetracked that it never happens. So the next best thing is listening to it. I think I am going to listen to a lot of YA books. I might be able to review more that way.

Too much....Not ready

Oh my word. It has been a good while since I have blogged. I need to blog now. I have so much running through my head, that I am not sure how to handle it and God knows I will need a lot of prayer.

I have enjoyed my summer with my little one. Donovan can be a pain sometimes, but he is my pain, and I love him. We have just hung out. He is so much fun, and a great little kid.

Stephanie came home the Friday before last. It was so great seeing her. The last time I saw Stephanie was Easter when she came home. Donovan was so glad to have his sissy home. I don't blame him. I was glad to have them both home. We had a great time. We went swimming, and shopping. I love spending time with her. I wish she could of stayed longer, but she had to go home to get her wisdom teeth pulled out. I sent her home with my half of the payment.

Speaking of payment, I am a little pissed about this. The whole time I had custody of Stephanie I never asked her father for half of anything. I paid for everything myself. I am trying to figure out why he always has her call me for the half. I mean if he wants me to pay he should be asking me not having Stephanie ask me. I should not be upset, but I just wondering why he does that. He just makes me want to scream. I mean I don't go after him for what he owes me, and would not.

Now to the thing that will cause me a heart attack or stroke. WORK! Well found out that my new room is not ready. Of course that upsets me. However, I need to remember that is not my problem that is admins problem. Second I received our welcome back letter. Well besides 2 days of Quantum Learning before officially coming back then one more day. Really we need that many days of QL. I will have to bring things to do on those days. My second complaint is that after looking at the schedule I have only two days to get my room or whatever in order. I want to cry. I don't know how I am going to unpack and get things in order. I am not sure what I will need. I know the room is smaller. I wish I knew the dimensions of the room so I could figure out how to get everything in my room. Actually I am not even going to call it my room. I will call it my residence for what time I have left in teaching. I am noticing my negativity will only be towards adults right now.

As I look at everything in the last few years, I finally understand micro managing. I have also realized what you wish for is not always the best thing. The grass might look greener on the other side, but if you don't watch out you might get the shits.

I will start working on some crafts for my room. I have a few things I want to do, but not sure if I will have enough wall space for this. Oh well, I will figure out how to make things work.

Oh well enough on this. I am done for the night. I am going to cherish my time with Donovan.

The Word....

Today I decided to get Donovan out of the house. It has been one of those day. How to even explain the first incident.

Donovan and I were just relaxing this morning. He was playing the Wii Monsters vs. Aliens. As he was playing he is talking to the game. Then out of his mouth the most horrible thing came out. He says to the game "Where is the F**King bridge?" I had to shake my head for a second and had to listen again. I said what did you say. He said nothing. Then I had to explain to him what a horrible word that was. I was so sad. It made me want to cry, because I have used that word before and just never expected him not to say it. I need to lead by example. Positive examples would be nice. He felt bad and realized that I was upset over that.

Donovan and I went on a date today. We had lunch at TGIFridays and a movie. Lunch was nice. He and I laughed and talked. Of course about silly stuff but we talked. Then off to the movies. Cars 2 was a cute movie, however, Donovan and I could of waited for the movie to come out on DVD. He loved the movie and he laughed. That really is all that matters.

We were going to workout but I decided against. Donovan and I just relaxed for the rest of the evening. I did have to send him to his room because he stuck his tongue out at me because I didn't have hot dog buns. I know he must be crazy. I sent him to his room and told him he needed to apologize to me if he wanted out.

Donovan's behavior. I have to do something about it. I know it is my fault because I have treated him like my baby. He is become mouthy for 5. I know that I am going to be putting my thumb down on a lot of the things he is doing lately. He will be losing time with the television. I know we will be working on his sounds, reading the rest of his books, going outside to sit and play a little. We will be working on a schedule too. Not just for Donovan but for me too. I know it is summer, but I need to go to bed at a decent time. I need to quit staying up reading my books. It is not helping me out at all.

I am so moody right now. This evening I just wanted to cry. I am not sure if I am at the onset of menopause. I really don't care, but this wanting to cry has to go. That is not me. I have just felt lonely today.

I am just having one of those days. Quote of the day:

We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do.
- Brigham Young

What a day Wednesday

Today has been a CRAZY day. My sister in law Sarah and mother in law came over today. They were going to get the protective order they needed for Sarah. Sarah is getting a divorce from her husband it is a little messy.

Well I am went with Sarah to try to get some of her belongings that her husband's family had. When we go to the house her husband was there. We were able to come up with a plan to get the exchanging of stuff. I know Scott was not going to be happy because that would mean he would have to come. It would require us to drive out to New Caney to give her husband his stuff. When we got there, there was a misunderstanding and so nothing was exchanged. Scott was mad, and a lot of angry feelings were going on. I was the only reasonable person.

Now I am so thankful that my divorce from Terry was not like this. I honestly don't know what happen and I really don't want to know. That way I can continue to stay neurtral. All I do know is no matter what there is a child involved and this hostility is not good for anyone. Just a crazy situation.

As for Donovan, Scott, and I. We had a nice evening. Donovan accidentally dropped a toy on his daddy's nose while he was laying down. He caused his daddy to bleed. My sweet baby was so sad. He said I told daddy sorry and then cried. I felt so bad for him. After Scott cleaned up the little cut, he held Donovan and told him he knew it was an accident. Poor Donovan.

Quote of the day:
* Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thankful Tuesday

Today has really been a great day. I got to spend it with Donovan. My little hapa haole. I love him to death. He just makes my heart melt.

Donovan was able to behave in the weight room when I did my workout today. He watched me run and asked me about all the equipment in the weightroom. It was just funny. He is such a little man that he has so many questions. He asked me how to do things. I think he is so funny.

I took Donovan to McDonalds. He had a great time playing with the other children in the play area. I wish parents would watch their children more. We eventually left after 2 hours. I am trying to find things for Donovan to do that do not require the television.

My favorite person did my hair tonight. I love when Allison does my hair. She always does a great job and doesn't charge me an arm and leg for it. I appreciate her taking the time to do my hair. Next time she will do a Kim Kardashian thing to it. I am looking forward to that.

I guess my quote of the night is:

Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.
Brad Henry

Monday Monday Monday

Today was another Monday which means the end of summer will be near. I just wish it could last longer. How did my day start off...Crappy.

I was finally able to get into my email at school. Everytime I tried it would say that the computer didn't have some application. These computers are driving me crazy. Anyway to get to the point of posting this. I received an email from an ex coworker. She was very nasty in the email. It seems she had not received my check that I sent her for 52.00 dollars. Well I sent it on June 18, like I told her. Well anyways she informed me that I was robbing her, I didn't answer her calls which I didn't receive a call from her unless she was the unknown calls I would not answer. However, there was no message. I mean I am still trying to learn this stupid phone which I hate. Well she informed me that I was acting like a middle school student. She did say what kind of example am I for my daughter and son. Now that really pissed me off. So I went and checked where I sent the check to. I emailed this person and it seems that I transposed the numbers wrong. I was in such a hurry to get the check in the mail, I just wrote it quick. Anyways the long and short of this, is I informed that the check is out and I guess I will have to put stop payment on the check. As much as I wanted to tell her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine, I told her thank you for her honesty about me. Left it at that. You would think that she would apologize, but not happening. I mean I know at times I can be a ditz, but to question me and say what she did about my children was uncalled for. I kept thinking about the church service last night that made me keep my calm. I had so many evil thoughts going in my head of what I could of said, but I didn't. If I never see this person again it would not bother me. She owes me an apology for the comments she made. Just mean person.

Donovan and I went to the library today. I am so glad the library is free. Donovan was able to do the sandart today. He loved it. I forgot to take pictures, but oh well. He had so much fun. We then checked out some movies for him. He at times love the library and then at times he doesn't care for it. I checked out several movies for hiim. He only has 8 more books to go before he is able to get his blue ribbon. We signed up for the reading program. He only cares about the blue ribbon. However, we have read many different books and they have been interesting.

Where to begin about weight? Trying to lose weight is a pain in my butt right now. I don't even know why. I mean I love the healthy eating I am doing. It has been great. I have definitely changed my eating habits. I mean I have cut out the amount of diet cokes I have in a day. I have cut out eating salt and vinegar chips. I have traded them in apples, squash, grapes, cucumbers,etc. I love the food. It makes me cook more and really realize what I am putting in my body.

Tracking points plus has been more difficult for me since school let out. I had no problem at school, and I am not sure why. I mean what exactly is the difference. My weight is up 2 pounds or down 2 pounds. It is usually the same exact pounds. So I haven't been below 148. However, I know I will get there. I just have to do other things.

I am trying new recipes from the WW cookbook. I have enjoyed the ones I have tried. Then I have experimented with creating new things. Not sure if I should do that but I will try. I am wanting to be the next Master Chef. LOL.

Zumba was great tonight. I did a great job at sweating. I need to look into getting some new shoes. I think I might have tweaked my knee a little. I feel like 40 is setting in. The only thing I disliked about the workout is that being that time of the month makes it miserable. I would love to do Zumba more, but just do not have the babysitter for it. That is ok. I will figure out something in my exercise routine.

Quote of the night:
Success is not a race, be patient.
Success leads to success.
Success is always a work in progress.
Success doesn't come to you--you go to it.
Success is a journey, not a destination. Focus on the process.
Some people dream about success... while others wake up and work hard at it.
Success is achieved and maintained by those who try-and keep trying.
Everyday is a good day to SUCCEED!
If at first you don't succeed-try, try again

Sunday....

Today was a great service at church today. Donovan and I had a great time at church. Lance Price gave an wonderful lesson today. One that really made me think about everything he was saying.I am glad we went.

I am so tired today. I have to find things to do with Donovan and my time. Donovan has been a joy to be with since I got out for the summer. We have read and played. He is such a sweetie. I love him to bunches. He told me today that he loved me a 100 pounds. Not sure what that means, but sounds great to me. He then told me I was the Bestest Super mom ever. He sure knows how to get to his momma.

I started today and let me tell you. I have been in pain. I am not sure how much of this pain I can take. I guess this means I really need to make an appointment with Dr. Benge. I just don't want to hear what he has to say about my ovary. I just don't want anything removed from my body that doesn't need to .

Sorry to hear about a Song Leader at church. Samantha had a miscarriage. I wanted to cry. She is such a wonderful God loving woman that it was just sad to hear this. I know God will open his arms up to her and her husband during this time.

My quote for the night is....Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6 New International Version

Saturday

I am a little behind. I need to find time in the evening to post. I seem to have me time more in the morning than in the evening. So here I am sitting in the living room watching the news and updating for the day.

I am becoming very moody the last few days. Anything that is said to me just makes me irritable. Luckily my husband is understanding and knows that I am getting ready to start. However, I have never been this irritable. I mean everything aggravates me. I don't understand. I am not sure if it is age or what, but have decided I don't like it.

Yesterday I spent the time cleaning Donovan's room. Oh my word. He had some of his baby toys still. I couldn't believe some of the stuff he collected. I was able to leave his room with two trash bags of toys and games. Then on top of that as we were cleaning out the closet. I found three pairs of boots. What in the world was I doing. Today I will spend in his room placing things where they need to be.

Donovan and I spent the evening painting his rocket ship. He had so much fun. He was so proud of his rocket ship. I seriously need to find other things to do with him that does not cost a small fortune. I need to think on what we will do next week.

I haven't heard from my parents since Monday. I guess they will call when they are ready to call. I am frustrated with them right now. I know they are helping my brother out with his two children, but what about the rest of the grandchildren. I guess I am still hurt that my father forgot Donovan's birthday. I mean I had to have Donovan call and say "Happy Birthday Papa" Really. He felt bad, but if it were Tina or Alex there is no way he would of forgotten his birthday. I wish Donovan had one set of grandparents who took time with him. ARGH!!!

Last night I worked on my coupon binder for two hours. Oh my word. Organizing coupons can be a pain in the butt. However, I am going to keep it nice and neat. I need to buy more dividers. I think I need 15 more and the binder is seperated and orderly.I didn't realize how time consuming this could be. However, my pocketbook is enjoying my savings. LOL.
Just glad Saturday is done. I will definitely keep this post updated.

A busy month

Well school ended on June 2, and I have been a happy mom/teacher/wife. Donovan and I have spent all our time together. I am enjoying this a lot. I am going to dread when I have to go back to work. I wish I could have other's be followers of my blog, but not sure how well that would go over. Especially since I don't want several people knowing what I am doing.

Donovan had his birthday. Come to find out I pissed off Scott's stepmom and dad. I didn't invite them because they never come. I didn't think there was any reason to say anything. Well I think they are upset. I tagged Rena in one of Donovan's party pictures. She emails me and say wrong mom and nice party though. Then send Donovan a card and it says Pa and Rena. Now I could of sworn she has always signed it Pa and Nanny, but I guess I might be wrong. However, I know I am not.

I am so done with his family. Why are they acting like idiots. I am tired of them being so dramatic. Being from divorced family makes it very difficult to deal with his family. If Karen comes to an outing for us then Allison, Scott's sister won't come. Good grief. I am to the point I don't care what everyones problem is with each other get over it. It is not about them. I just want to so just tell them off. When I do that will be the end of everything.

Failure as a Teacher

Today is not going as well as I would like. I just looked over my students TAKS scores. Some celebrations and some well I am not sure what to say. I know why many probably didn't pass. They don't listen to me in class. It has me re evaluating what I need to do to improve my class. I guess I am just an average to poor teacher. I take this very personal. I hate to hear a student has failed. However, overall looking at effort through the year I can see why some have not done well. Now it is to see how much they failed by. I want to just scream and cry.

I am getting the chance to tell my students on Friday. It will give me time to think on how I want to approach this. I have to find something to hook them. Just what is the question. I have a lot to think about during the summer. I need to find a hook. I will figure it out. Just don't know how well I will do.

Too Long

It has been too long since I last wrote on my blog. I hope to get a little better with this blogging when summer comes. There is so much to talk about but won't tell all. I just think certain things are better kept a secret. LOL.

School is coming to an end. How would I sum up the year. Stressful, drama, dreadful, loving, out with the old, in with the new. I am not sure whatelse I can say.

Eleven years at the same school makes me wonder if it is time for a change. Change is always good. Due to the lack of communication with the district, not sure how that will effect teacher jobs. Unfortunately what the district is trying to do to cut the debt is still unknown. I think the unknown is what scares everyone. The unknown is what caused me to take my name off the transfer list. Also the fact that my husband had made a comment that he wanted out of the marriage. I know I should be upset but I can't. I have to think about my son Donovan. One of the two loves of my life. However, Scott has changed his mind again. Stability seems to be what is missing with the job and possible with the marriage.

Something my mom says over and over to my brother and I. " The only friends you have are your family" She says they stand by you no matter what. As for friends they pick and choose when they stand by you. I have come to realize this that she is right. I know the reason she says this to my brother is because he is always gets himself in trouble with friends who throw him under the bus. I can't say that about my friends, but do understand what my mom is saying due to issues that come up. I am not sure if I have become a hard person because of situations I have allowed myself to be placed in. I mean I think nothing is safe where teaching is concerned.

Donovan has been a blessing the last semester of school. He has made me laugh at many of the things he does and says. I love him to death. He is such a cutie. He has been playing T ball and I have coached. He is so funny when it comes to running and hitting. I am glad he loves to hit the ball. I will have to upload a picture of Donovan playing Tball.

My second blessing is my daughter Stephanie. She has just finished her first year of college at the University of Texas. She is a wonderful daughter and I couldn't of asked for a better kid. She is taking summer school at Kilgore this summer and starts tomorrow. We will start looking for stuff for her apartment.

Another issue is my ex husband. He had Stephanie call me to ask for half of the money for wisdom teeth being pulled. She started to cry when she asked. She says she hates asking. I am somewhat pissed off that he would have her ask. I am not sure why he wouldn't ask me. I told her I would pay, but thewhole time Stephanie lived with me, I never asked her dad to pay for anything. I used his child support money for the 300 dollars for Club Volleyball. I guess I am mad because I know he owes me 1000 from child support for back payment after what he owed me was now deducted from what I owed him. I will pay because it is for my daughter, but he is making me so mad with his stupidity.

The joys of motherhood can be great, but when you deal with others it makes motherhood hard.

Mid Week .... Is Friday here yet

Today has just been an exhausting day. As mom I had to rearrange everything because Donovan had Tball practice. Our original place to practice was cancelled and we found a place to practice today. Practice was great. The kids did a great job of practicing. The kids learned som great skills. The kids were baseball ready and alligator. I was proud of Donovan. My husband says we need to get him off my hip. I guess I do baby him, but he is my baby. I guess I will work on that. Work is another story. I always feel like I am walking into the war zone. I never know what is going on. I have been keeping to myself and finding ways to avoid being around anyone. I am not sure what to do about the transfer. I so want to teach READ 180, but not sure I will have the opportunity. I am so scared about the change that could happen that I am not sure how to handle this. I pray that everything will go the way it is suppose to. I will just have to wait and see what is in store. I was talking to a friend today, and realize that I am lucky. My marriage is going great and I can't complain. I have great friends who are my friends. My family is awesome. What in the world could I have to complain about. Also my true friends are friends no matter what. I have lost a friend and not sure if I am sad or happy. However, it was time to cut the ties. I will be glad to have the week over.

Manic Monday

Today was back to the grind. I had no desire to go back to work. My mind keeps replaying that I am a great teacher inside my room, but outside is a different thing. I don't think I will ever forget those words for as long as a I live. Almost like when a former DI told me I was not leadership material.

I did run into an ex friend. I am calling her ex because she made it clear. I realize that people that I thought were my friends are not. My mom was so right when she said your only friends is your family. Everyone else is an acquaintance. I use to think that was a horrible thing to say, but now I don't feel that way. This ex gave me a go to hell look. So I think I understood that.

I finally got Donovan's schedule for Tball. I am not sure how I am going to keep up my energy to coach, work, and still cook dinner and all. Calgon take me away. LOL. I hope these little ones will be able to handle the busy schedule.

Dinner was simple tonight. Spaghetti. Donovan enjoyed it. I love my Bubba to death. I so wish I could just be a stay at home mom. I miss these little moments where we can cuddle and he tells me he loves me. I know that he has to grow up but I am just not ready for him to grow up. Stephanie grew up way to fast for me. Besides Donovan still needs me. Stephanie is a college student who is still thinking about it.

I made the Rosemary-Olive Oil Chiffon Cake. Yummy!! That is all I can say. It was absolutely wonderful. I am so glad I made it. My husband is too chicken to eat it. Well I guess more for me.


Quote for the day:

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back. -Arthur Rubinstein

Opening Day

Today has just been a wonderful day. This morning I went to my WW weigh in. What a great surprise to know I lost 3.2 pounds. I really didn't think that it would be that much. I lost another 5 pounds. That makes a total of 15.8. I am now under 150. I can't remember the last time I was under 150. WW does work.

Opening Day for CyFair Sports Association. Spring baseball is in season. My little team looked so cute in their uniforms. We are the White Sox's. It was a long day for everyone, but it was a great day for the kids. Donovan had a great time. He was so worn out that he took a cat nap on the way home. It was an overall great Opening Day.

I am very glad the way my day went. I had an awesome time at the grocery store. I actually saved 36.13. My bill was under 90.00 for the week. I am so happy with that. I love saving money. I love using my coupons and finding deals.

Life is good. My quote for the day is....... The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.
William James

Sadness

I made myself go to work today. I had no spark in my eye and it was depressing. Yesterday's words are still stuck in my head. Still needing God's help. My students were unsure how to take me today. I was very solemn. My sweet chatty little 6th graders each came up to me and said they were wondering if I was ok. I told them yes. They said they were a little worried. They thought maybe someone died in my family. I love my students. Thank you Lord for bringing them into my life. It sucks to know that a supervisior thinks so unhighly of you. It makes me wonder if teaching is my calling. Oh well another day done of unhappiness. Sleep something that makes me happy.

As for wife and mom, that is going great. Of course it is effecting me smiling, but I love being at home with my family. I actually left work at 3:30. That is a first. I don't usually leave this early, but I did. I was able to get a roast in the oven, and relax. It was just nice. I think I need to readjust my priority. I think work is work and my family is my life.

Tomorrow is the big day. I will be coaching Donovan's T ball team. I am a little worried having to explain to the 4 year olds what we are doing. I know I will figure it out and I will have parents to help me out with that.

Quote for the day: When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot in it and hang on.
Thomas Jefferson

What a day and I hate it!!

Today has been one of the worst days in my life. I hate being a teacher at times because it really isn't about the kids. It is all politics and who you know. I think that really stinks. However, today I asked for a meeting with my principal so I could rethink if I wanted to put in for a transfer or not. After that meeting I felt less than a person and my only good quality is I am a great teacher. That is great to know, but I don't need adult kudos when all I care about are the kids. Long and short of it all is that I am a wonderful teacher inside my room but outside the four walls is a different story. Ummm........let me think on that one. You are a great teacher, but as a person you are horrible. Let me step on you more. I am not sure how to take that. Also that I am the most negative person about things. Now that one really floors me, because I have done nothing but been positive and tried to make things work.

So after this meeting, I am pretty much crying like there is no tomorrow and the only person I want to talk to are my parents. Who I unfortunately can't get a hold of. Maybe that is a sign. However, I did get to talk to a friend. Explained what was said to me and she was in shock. I invest so much time in my kids that I feel like I have given up a lot of family time. I realize today I am just a body for a job and that I am not to have friends in the work force. I feel as if I get the poop end of the deal every year due to others.

The worst part of all of this is that a friend was told she could not be trusted because of me and her talking to me. However something she told me I did not tell anyone. She doesn't believe. I told her I felt like my meeting was a set up because of what was being focused on and that was not what I went in there to talk to her about. How is that possible, but she doesn't believe me and it is sad.

My eyes hurt from all the crying and feel like not even going to work. I have never been known to hide, but that is always possible. I want to but will go to work and let things be said. It doesn't matter if I stay away from folks, they are always talking.

My world as a mother is one of my only joys besides my marriage. So how to turn a horrible day into a productive week for myself. My son is funny and he keeps me on my toes. I love Donovan with all my heart and couldn't have asked for a better gift from God. Now is the time I need a scripture to help me through this time. I found one scripture for tonight:

Philippians 4:13 NIV
I can do everything through him who gives me strength. I need to remember that God is going to give me the strength to hold my head up.


I pray God gives me the answer that I need before Friday. I am not sure if I can deal with anymore drama.